Saturday, July 07, 2007

SPIN WARS, EPISODE 3: THE EMPIRE TAKES A BACK SEAT

When last we visited the Axis of Weasels and the Dark Lord, Darth Cheney (November 11, 2005), things were looking bad for the Lefti Knights and the entire galaxy. But cracks were beginning to appear in the Axis of Weasels armor, despite the spin-saber tactics of the evil MachiaRovean. But the forces of good underestimated the power of the Dark Side, particularly their Dark Lord. Darth Cheney continued to spin and lie and paint as evil and unpatriotic those who dared speak out against military campaigns of the Axis. The Dark Lord became more secretive and harder to find, all the while planning his evil doings.

And so it came to pass that, in the year of 7 in the Second Millennium, the Dark Lord, Darth Cheney, put in motion his secret plan to gain control of the Empire. The Dark Lord, brushing aside the puppet Emperor Dubya, declared a new branch of government comprised of - himself. Under this new ruling structure, Darth Cheney became part of whichever branch of the Empire he chose on any particular day, depending on the politics of the moment. If rules governing the behavior of the Executive Branch of the Empire got in his way, well, he was not part of that branch, despite his title of Vice Emperor. If rules governing the Legislative Branch got in his way, well, he was not part of that branch. Darth Cheney, the Dark Lord, was his own branch of the Empire.

And so the Axis of Weasels continued to careen down the path of history, leaving in it's wake a ruined planet wracked with war, greed, pollution and hatred. And Darth Cheney, the Dark Lord, smirked as he watched the results of his planning.




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