Saturday, July 04, 2009

GOVERNOR'S DISEASE: IS IT PANDEMIC?

The columnist Gail Collins wondered about this recently, and she got me thinking. Is there some strange new disease that only affects governors that is spreading thoughout the United States? Recent events suggest this might be the case: Elliot Spitzer, Rod Blagojevich, Mark Sanford, and now the darling of the GOP, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

The symptoms of this illness appear to include either sexual infidelity, manic weirdness, or both. With Spitzer it was sex. With Blago it was total weirdness. Sanford's symptoms appear to be a combination of these - lots of extra-marital sex, and non-stop public blathering about intimate details better left unspoken in public.

And now comes Governor Palin. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, google "palin resignation" and watch the video of her speech. It is stream-of-consciousness babbling taken to the n-th degree. I watched and listened to it, but I had no idea what the hell she was talking about! It's almost as if she is actually a programmed android whose operating system is fried.

Oh-oh...maybe I'm on to something here. Maybe these governors are androids that have been substituted for the real people. By Martians? By terrorists? Have the FBI, NSA, CIA, HSA investigated this? Or are they all in on it? Now I'm scared.

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