Tuesday, May 08, 2012

EXPLODING UNDERPANTS

[Blogger's note: if we lose our sense of humor, the terrorists win. Mine is still intact.]

By now you are all aware of the CIA foiling a plot by terrorists to detonate a newer, more modern underpants bomb on a plane bound for the USA. What is this world coming to? Who puts on exploding underpants (not to be confused with exploding in your underpants)? Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

Who are these guys, and how do they let themselves be talked into this? I'm picturing the recruiting posters used by Al Queda: "Blow your nuts off for Allah!" "Jihad your Junk!" "More than a Tickle Test for your Testicles!" Do these guys read the fine print? I mean, if you're signing up for martyrdom and the promise of 1,000 virgins waiting for you, don't you think about how pissed-off you'll be when you show up where all these virgins are waiting and suddenly realize you've just turned your equipment into millions of tiny droplets of flesh and blood?

If this wasn't so real it would be funny. Picture a movie about a bumbling terrorist trying to get his exploding underpants on without setting it off, having to use the men's room at the airport but the underpants bomb doesn't have a fly, sitting down oh-so-carefully in the waiting area, and etc. If it wasn't real, it would be funny.

Another part of this news story - really - is that this new Jockey Rocket has no metal in it. The experts think that the newer body scanners in the US might detect the Boom Boom Boxers, but the European scanners won't. This makes me reach the conclusion that the Portlander who was recently arrested for completely undressing at Portland Airport security (he claims he finally just had enough already) was on the right track. We will all be flying naked soon. Or at least we'll have to drop trou to prove that we're flying sans undies.

Remember the thing about boxers or briefs? Now it's boxers, briefs, or da bomb.

Oh well, I guess I'm the butt of this joke.  See you in the Friendly Skies.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess with one of those mean speedo Al Queda models covering your privates, you'd suffer from that terrible male malady, premature detonation! Gives new meaning to "exploding all over your date"!


Zephyrman

gebloom said...

You're just pandering to Jockey.

Paul said...

LOL! Thanks for the comments.

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