MYSTERIES OF THE INTERNET: PHLEGM

I've always been fascinated by the internet, particularly things like google. It's difficult to wrap my brain around the concept of millions of people doing millions of searches all the time. I've read about some of the large server facilities - huge warehouse buildings filled with computers and HVAC systems, humming away 24/7, using massive amounts of electricity. The Cloud.

So it was with awe and wonder that I made a discovery today that set my imagination whirling. I checked the traffic on my blog using StatCounter; I do this once in awhile just to see where the hits (the few I get) are from. StatCounter has a google maps link that displays a symbol on a world map for the location of every server from which my blog has been visited during the past few weeks. (I use the free version of StatCounter, so I have a limited amount of data storage.) There are a lot of symbols from all over the world displayed today for my blog - cool.

Then I looked at the statistics display that lists the city and country for each hit, and for most hits the post that was viewed. And there it was, a wondrous mystery of the internet unfolding before my eyes. Of the 48 hits listed for October and November (I told you, it's not a popular blog...), 16 - that's one third - were on a post I'd made on February 28, 2009, over 8 months ago! And what was this suddenly popular (relatively) post? It was The Importance of being Phlegmish, of course!

These hits on my phlegm post were from:
Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
Bronx, New York USA
Portland, Oregon USA
San Antonio, Texas USA
Vienna, Austria
Winnipeg Canada
Lawrence, Massachusetts USA
Littleton, Colorado USA
Artarmon, New South Wales Australia
Middleton, Ohio USA
Boulder, Colorado USA
Fort Wayne, Indiana USA
Kenya (no city listed)
Chatham, New Jersey USA
Killingworth, Connecticutt USA
Louisville, Kentucky USA

Once my laughter subsided, I began to investigate further. For many of these hits, StatCounter shows a link for the source, and these in turn show what search terms led the searcher to my post. I looked at a number of these links. One search was for "coughing up clear sticky fluid in the morning." Seems obvious enough. But the majority were for: "old man lucas had a lot of mucus." Yes, the title of a song by Kinky Friedman, often performed by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jew Boys. (By the way, looks like Kinky is running for Governor of Texas in 2010.) I mentioned Kinky and his song in the Phlegmish post.

So I know what people were searching for, but why? Why are so many (again, this is relative) people looking on the internet for a song by Kinky Friedman about an old man with a lot of mucus? It remains a mystery, but here's my guess: some world radio program or internet site did a story about Kinky Friedman, and played or mentioned his famous song (you've heard it many times, right?). And this prompted folks to search for it on the internet. And their search led some of them to my humble blog.

I only hope that these people I don't know from far corners of the Earth read the post, instead of clicking away from it without stopping to read it, to learn a little bit about me, to marvel themselves about the wonders of the internet, a place where weirdos can post strange scribblings that are forever out there, in the Cloud, 24/7 - until the world goes dark.

IS OBAMA DOING OK?

Folks - we need to chill out, and we need to heat it up. I, like many of you, am a news junkie. I read the newspaper every day (well, almost every day), and I usually end up being upset, pissed off, and gloomy about the state of the world around me. (In fairness, I sometimes find articles about good things happening, and this lifts my spirits.)

But I have to tell you, the incessant chatter about "Obama is not doing such and such," and "Obama isn't keeping his campaign promise about so and so," is starting to get on my nerves. Yeah, I have some questions about what the guy is doing and why, but then - hang on a second - look at what he inherited from the Cheney-Bush Cabal. I'm serious about this; Cheney and little Bush wreaked incredible havoc on this country and this world, and these things don't just go away on the day a new administration is sworn in. If we stop for a minute and consider the state of affairs Obama inherited, it's a wonder the man isn't just wandering around in circles babbling incoherently to himself!!

The Obama administration has been in office for 10 months, that's 10.4% (one tenth) the time Cheney-Bush was in office. Look carefully at the Obama administration record to date; they have accomplished a lot, considering the mess they walked into. We elected Obama; now we need to give him our continuing support. Will he always do everything each of us wants? No. Will he be as progressive, liberal, radical or whatever each of us wants him to be? Never. Will he represent the values and goals of the people who elected him better than Cheney-Bush did? Every time!!

So people, let's chill out in the ranting and raving and bloviating department, and let's heat up in the activism department. The Republican Party, and especially the right wing of the Party, have truly lost their way - or maybe they've found their way - when it comes to the good of the people. But if we sit back and let them grab the headlines, let them sow the seeds of doubt, let them control the conversation, well....then they'll win the game. If we let down our guard, they win. And we know the kind of world they want - we lived in it for eight long, brutal years.

Yes we can. Yes we will. Keep saying it - keep doing it.

ANIMAL STORIES

Do Frogs get Lonely?

One day last summer, Sherry came back from the Fred Meyer garden store with a tray of small bedding plants. When we removed the small plastic pots from the cardboard tray, there was a small green frog huddling in the corner. It was a chorus frog (formerly known as a tree frog). The plants were from a nursery in the Willamette Valley, Oregon, and this is a native species. Well, we don't keep pets anymore, and we live in a very urban area, so what to do with the little guy/girl? I carried her/him to the backyard, our Garden of Tranquility, and released him/her on a flat rock in our water feature. She/he crawled under a rock and hasn't been seen since.

However, over the past few weeks, there is a frog calling from the corner of the Garden of Tranquility where the water feature is. It's a very plaintive call, almost haunting in it's loneliness. Is our frog lonely? Is it trying to find a companion, a mate? What should we do to help? Is it legal for me to capture another wild chorus frog for our garden, and if so, how do I know if we need a male or female - how do we even tell the difference?? Life has knotty problems.

Eats Shoots and Leaves

A panda walks into a bar...... Well, no, actually that's just a joke. But I think about pandas every time I have to thin our bamboo landscape screen next to the house. Bamboo is an amazing grass. Ours, the black bamboo, sends new shoots out of the ground every May (we call them "the Aliens"), and these things grow about 10 feet in 3 weeks. Amazing! Every year I spend a day or more thinning - which is the easy part. Then I have to cut the bamboo thinnings into pieces small enough to fit in the green yard debris recycling can. This takes hours of tedious work.

Our sister-in-law Jill volunteers at the zoo. I asked her once to ask the zoo folks if they want my bamboo cuttings for the pandas, or the giraffes, or anyone. I knew they wouldn't - and they didn't - because, well, how do they know I haven't sprayed the heck out of the bamboo with poison?

I need a panda. Not as a pet - remember, we don't do pets anymore - but maybe once or twice a year. A panda yardwork helper, with an appetite. Anybosy know one I can call?

GUILTY OF ECOCRIMES?

OK, this is a confession - I think I've committed a crime against the environment, but I'm not sure.

I was puttering around the house the other day, and looked under a bathroom sink for something. For some reason, I decided to take everything out from under the sink - you know - cleaning mode set in. And there they were, several almost-empty plastic bottles of shampoo, liquid soap, hair conditioner. I hesitated. The correct thing to do is rinse them thoroughly and recycle them. But it takes a lot of time, and water, to get all that sudsy stuff out of each bottle. "Which is worse" I pondered, "throwing the bottles in the trash (egads), or using so much water?"

I threw them in the trash, thus saving water and time.

But now I feel guilty. Every time I hear a car door close outside our house I get nervous - is it the Portland Eco Cops? Will they just give me a warning, or will I do hard time? What should I plead: temporary insanity? Conflict of eco-logic? Not guilty? Or should I confess my crimes and take whatever punishment I deserve?

Oops....gotta go hide, I just heard a car door slam.

BLINK...BLINK...BLINK...BLINK...

The power went out for about 30 seconds this morning. Now I'm sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, reading the NY Times, and trying to ignore all the damn blinking digital clocks!! From where I'm sitting I can see 4 appliances blinking at me, begging - no, nagging me to reset them. Luckily we have one battery powered clock on the kitchen wall, so I know what time it is. Now, the age-old question, can I get all the digital readouts to display the exact same time?

I'll then need to go through the house and reset the DVD player, the clock radio in each bedroom, and other gadgets I can't remember we have. (Actually, I have a confession - I have never set the clock display on the DVD player, so it always just displays "12:00....12:00....12:00....12:00.....")

If I ever go shopping again for an appliance with a digital read out, I'm going to look for one that has a setting for "Turn Off the Damn Digital Clock." I don't need these. I don't want these. I'm tired of paying for the electricity they use.

Oh well, it's a beautiful cold, crisp, grey Portland autumn morning. I'll just relax with my second cuppa, and.....blink.....blink.....blink.....blink.....blink.....blink.....blink.....blink.............

BOYCOTT DAVID BYRNE

David Byrne is speaking right now at the Bagdad Theater near our house. I like David Byrne, although I'm not that familiar with his work after Talking Heads. He's speaking about bicycling tonight - it figures - right here in "The Amsterdamn of America."

But here's my beef: David is one of many film personalities who signed an open letter protesting the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) for highlighting the city of Tel Aviv, Israel. Some filmmakers withdrew their films in protest. It's complex, of course, but to me the underlying issue is censorship with a political motive. The signers of the open letter, a lot of familiar film personalities, take issue with TIFF spotlighting Tel Aviv because they felt this plays into Israeli propaganda, Israel is an apartheid nation, Israel mistreats Palestinians, etc. No matter that some of the Israeli films are critical of Israel.

I have not understood the movement by some to protest and censor academic and artistic work by Israelis. Some academics have protested the inclusion of Israeli colleagues at professional meetings, as if Israeli scholars are the same as the Israeli government or policies. I think this kind of "political action" is narrow-minded and misplaced. The greater danger is that it fans the flames of anti-Semitism, which has been surging world-wide recently - and yes, even here in the U.S. (just ask any Jewish student at Portland State University, Lewis and Clark College, etc.).

As I've said before on this blog, the Israel-Palestinian situation is very complex, and it's easy to pick out the bad guy and side with the underdog. But guess what folks - reality isn't that simple. The good are bad and the bad are good, there's ample blame to go around, and a solution is, in my mind, not going to happen in our lifetimes.

So let's get back to David Byrne. By his own reasoning (and that of the other signers of the letter), we should boycott his works because he is from a country that tortures prisoners, illegally invades and occupies sovereign nations based on lies, is guilty of numerous human rights abuses, refuses to sign important international treaties, is the largest supplier of weapons to the world....shall I continue?

Let's support free expression, and let's not drag art into the mud of global politics.

THE KILLING OF ALEXANDER HERNANDEZ-APALE

I didn't know Alexander Hernandez-Apale, I only saw his name and photo in the newspaper one morning. He was a young man with a pleasant smile in the photo accompanying the article about his death. Alexander was almost 19 years old. He was attacked by two teen gangsters who probably thought he was in another gang, and they stabbed him to death on the street. Alexander was not in a gang - he was a victim of random violence on the streets of Beaverton, Oregon.

We read about and see death every day in the media, so much so that I think we - I - become habituated to the point of either ignoring or accepting it as "normal." I can't explain why this particular death grabbed me the way it did. Maybe it's because I have a teenage grandson; maybe it's because I took the time to read the entire article and in a small way got to know this young man, and could feel the pain and heartbreak in his parents' words.

In addition to the sadness I feel for Alexander, his family and friends, I am profoundly
perplexed by the capacity of humans to enact this kind of senseless brutality. What part of the human mind allows people to kill?

THE HEALTH CARE BILL OF 2009

I'm a Senior Citizen, 65 years old, and I'm concerned about the state of health care in this country. In order to make wise decisions, I found on the internet H.R. 3200, America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009.

H.R. 3200 is a very long and comprehensive piece of legislation, but it contains important rules. I looked at it from my perspective as a senior citizen, and what I found is disturbing.

Some examples:

Section 102 - Protecting the Choice to keep Current Coverage - Persons with existing health insurance shall have the right to keep said insurance, except in the case of Senior Citizens, who will, upon application to keep current coverage, be taken out back and shot.

Section 111 - Prohibiting Pre-Existing Condition Exclusions - No person shall be excluded from coverage becaue of pre-existing conditions, with the exception of Senior Citizens, who upon application will be taken out back and stabbed repeatedly until dead.

Section 123 - Health Benefits Advisory Committee - applicants for health insurance shall have the opportunity to consult with a Health Benefits Advisory Committee, with the exception of Senior Citizens, who will be immediately referred to the Old Persons Death Panel for interview, after which they shall be taken out back and hanged from the ankles until dead.

Section 137 - Application of Administrative Simplification - for purposes of Administrative Simplification, all persons age 65 or older will be taken out back and hit over the head with a brick until dead.

Section 144 - Health Insurance Ombudsman - the Health Insurance Ombudsman shall resolve all conflicts between insurers and insured, except in the case where the insured is a Senior Citizen, in which case the Health Insurance Ombudsman shall immediately take such Senior Citizen out back and run them over with a bus until dead.

Section 152 - Prohibition of Discrimination in Health Care - there shall be no discrimination in health care, except in the case of Senior Citizens who shall be discriminated against, and then taken out back and buried alive until dead.

Section 155 - Severability - there shall be no severability, except in the case of Senior Citizens, who shall be taken out back and have their heads severed from their bodies.

Section 226 - Application of Fraud and Abuse Provisions - there shall be no fraud and abuse in health care, except in the case of Senior Citizens, who shall be fraudulently taken out back and abused until dead.

These provisions, and many others, of the AAHCA of 2009 are disturbing, but we need drastic reform of our health care system, and some of us will need to make sacrifices. I'm putting my papers in order......

CASH FOR CLUNKERS: RANDOM THOUGHTS

A bunch of media articles have been published about the scant environmental benefits of the Cash for Clunkers program, not to mention that it kind of flies in the face of "reduce, reuse, recycle" if the "clunkers" in question are 1990's models that run perfectly well. The whole thing kinda smells boondoggle to me.

I think this is really another stimulus program for the auto industry, which isn't totally a bad idea, I suppose. And heck, the scrap yards have to be loving it, too.

As of Wednesday, according to an article in The Oregonian, the top clunker trade-ins are:
1. Ford Explorer 4WD,
2. Ford F150 pickup 2WD,
3. Jeep Grand Cherokee 4WD,
4. Jeep Cherokee 4WD,
5. Dodge Caraven/Grand Caravan 2WD,
6. Ford Explorer 2WD,
7. Chevrolet Blazer 4WD,
8. Ford F150 Pickup 4WD,
9. Chevrolet C1500 Pickup 2WD,
10. Ford Windstar FWD Van.

Earth to Detroit. Earth to Detroit. Do you copy????

And what are clunker-trader-iners buying? Here's the list:
1. Toyota Corolla
2. Ford Focus
3. Honda Civic
4. Toyota Prius
5. Toyota Camry
6. Hyundai Elantra
7. Ford Escape 4WD
8. Dodge Caliber
9. Honda Fit
10. Chevrolet Cobalt

So folks are trading in SUVs, trucks and vans for smaller vehicles. Good trend. There are certainly people who need a larger or 4WD vehicle, but not for running to the store, going to work, etc.

I've always wondered how Detroit convinced consumers to buy these gas guzzlers in the first place. Let's dial back some years and take a peek into one of the Detroit Board Rooms, where a group of execs, almost all older men, are trying to figure out how to make money from a big vehicle.

Gentlemen, we've gotten all tooled up to manufacture these monster HumVees for the Pentagon, and there has to be a way to sell more of them.

Hmmmm, well Jim, maybe there's a way we can get consumers to buy them for a whole lot of money.

Wow, great idea John, maybe we could re-tool a bit and make them a bit more stylish, you know, leather seats, bright paint, lots of chrome - or better yet - black metal bars all over it.

Yeah, yeah...but it has to appeal to people with big money and, you know, it's gotta be sexy somehow.

Hey guys, what if we gave a couple of them to a prominent person, someone with popular appeal as a real man, like maybe a weight lifter-actor kind of guy.

Arnold!!

Who?

Arnold, you know, Conan the Terminator.

Oh yeah, great idea.

But how do we broaden the appeal? Maybe even get women to buy in?

Easy. Look, guys will buy them because they exhibit power and domination, you know, the penis thing. "Hey, look at me, I'm drivin' a huge monster military machine; I'm powerful; I got a big dick!"

Yeah. And women will buy in out of penis envy - "Hey! Look at me, I'm just like a man, don't fuck with me or I'll fuck you up; brother!"

OK folks, I think we're on to something here. Now we just need to come up with a name, something that relates to the HumVee, that exhibits power, that invokes penis power and penis envy.....

What about.....the Hummer?

Yeah..............

ODE TO THE NINJA BIKER

To the Ninja Biker
who ran the red light after dark
speeding across SE Grand
coming off the Hawthorne Bridge.

To the Ninja Biker
wearing all black
on a black bike
with no lights
reflectors
helmet.

Where does your
death wish
come from?

Where does your
disdain for the
rules of
the road
come from?

I know you
Ninja Biker.

You're the one
who almost runs me
off the road
with no warning
as you pass me.

You're the one
who responds to
this biker's
gentle suggestion
"please make some
noise before
you pass"
with a raised
middle finger
a "fuck you,
you're too slow
get out of the way -
old man!"

I don't hate you
Ninja Biker.

I might even
mourn you
if you get
splattered
by
a
truck

Ninja
Biker

THE NEW GENERAL MOTORS IS BACK WITH A NEW OLD CAR

General Motors has emerged from bankruptcy as a new company with 60 percent ownership by you and me, the taxpayers of the USA. And the new GM has a big hit in its showrooms, a car that in June sold more than either the Buick or Cadillac divisions sold. Is it an electric car? Is it a hybrid sedan that gets 50+ mpg? Nope. It's the Camaro - a retro muscle car that gets 22 mpg city/highway combined. So what's new?

In my opinion it's very telling about Americans when the largest auto maker comes out of bankruptcy as a new and improved company, and what consumers want is a gas-guzzler muscle car made in Canada. The Camaro "is winning over consumers looking for a little excitement in a bland landscape of look-alike sedans and watered-down sport utilities" ((NYT News Service). And so the beat goes on - we'll continue to drive ourselves off an environmental cliff as long as it's an exciting ride.

Someone please tell me how to explain this one to my grandkids.

DON'T FORGET THE PEOPLE'S STRUGGLE IN IRAN

An article inside the newspaper today reminded me that the people of Iran are still struggling for democracy, even in the face of brutal repression by their government. While western governments ponder the political implications of what they say and do, we the people can lend our support to the brave men, women and children who once again have taken to the streets to protest the recent election - and their incresingly dictatorial government.

What can we do as individuals? We can use the internet as a tool. We can also participate in public demonstrations of support.

Google around on the internet and you'll find many blogs by Iranians (inside and outside Iran).

Here are a couple of links:

United 4 Iran is planning an international day of support on July 25. Look on their website to see if something is planned in your city.

Here's a link to a directory of Iranian's blogs.

One of the new realities of the 21st century is that globalization makes it very difficult for brutal regimes to hide their violations of human rights - bloggers, texting, FaceBook, YouTube and other products of technology allow anyone to be a reporter of current events.

Support the people of Iran.

DORY BOATS AT CAPE KIWANDA

This just looks like a lot of fun! These folks launch from and return to the beach in their dories. The fishing that day was mostly for silver salmon, with a few rockfish and lingcod also being caught. A perfect day to be on the Pacific Ocean. And a fun ride to get back home.

Enjoy.

GOVERNOR'S DISEASE: IS IT PANDEMIC?

The columnist Gail Collins wondered about this recently, and she got me thinking. Is there some strange new disease that only affects governors that is spreading thoughout the United States? Recent events suggest this might be the case: Elliot Spitzer, Rod Blagojevich, Mark Sanford, and now the darling of the GOP, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

The symptoms of this illness appear to include either sexual infidelity, manic weirdness, or both. With Spitzer it was sex. With Blago it was total weirdness. Sanford's symptoms appear to be a combination of these - lots of extra-marital sex, and non-stop public blathering about intimate details better left unspoken in public.

And now comes Governor Palin. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, google "palin resignation" and watch the video of her speech. It is stream-of-consciousness babbling taken to the n-th degree. I watched and listened to it, but I had no idea what the hell she was talking about! It's almost as if she is actually a programmed android whose operating system is fried.

Oh-oh...maybe I'm on to something here. Maybe these governors are androids that have been substituted for the real people. By Martians? By terrorists? Have the FBI, NSA, CIA, HSA investigated this? Or are they all in on it? Now I'm scared.

DISRUPTED BLOGARHYTHM

I haven't posted here since mid-April of this year, almost three months. I think about it all the time; I even outline posts in my mind, sometimes writing notes on a scrap of paper. But here I am, on July 4, finally opening the blogger site and writing. What's with this?

I have somehow lost my blogarhythm.

Perhaps I'm suffering from input overload, at least that's one theory. I don't read the NY Times as much as I used to; I don't get to every issue of the Progressive that arrives in the mail; I don't jump around the web looking for the latest happenings. I want to, but I'm tired. Maybe Lily Tomlin had it right: "no matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up!"

So I'm going to try to get my blogarhythm back - maybe I just need a jump start. And I'm going to try to mix it up a bit: politics, philosophizing, art, interesting tidbits. Let's see if I can get this going again.

A NEW MESSAGE FROM SAMMY C. LYON

Bloggers note: I previously transcribed a post from Sammy C. Lyon in January, 2008 in which he talked about the federal government issuing a death warrant for Sammy and his kind. I saw Sammy the other day while kayaking the Columbia River near Portland, and I could tell right away that he was very upset. Following is the post he dictated to me.

This is Sammy C. Lyon, resident of the Pacific Ocean. My family and friends are grieving over the death of my Uncle, Jack. C. Lyon. Uncle Jack was my favorite uncle, ever since I was a pup. He always told the best stories of his exploits along the eastern coast of the Pacific Ocean, his visits to California, his occasional trips to Canada and Alaska, and his discovery of the great salmon feed up the Columbia River at the Bonneville Dam. It was Uncle Jack who first told us the oral histories of our clan, going back in time to the days when the coasts were dark with huge trees, when food was plentiful, including millions of salmon, and the Machines had not yet been seen. Our ancestors, Uncle Jack told us, lived up and down the coast in great numbers, living off the bounty of nature. He told us about how our ancestors swam up the mighty river, now known as the Columbia, to follow the salmon, and gathered at the base of the Great Waterfalls to feed on the fat fish. The First People were also there, sharing the fat salmon with us. But the Great Waterfalls disappeared one day, so the story is told, and our ancestors could no longer feed there.

It was Uncle Jack who helped re-discover the salmon feast up the Great River. He and some friends decided to go up the river about 10 years ago, following some salmon. They made a great discovery, what they at first thought was the Great Waterfalls, where many, many fat salmon were gathered, trying to go further upstream. We now know that this place they discovered is called Bonneville Dam, something built by the Machine Builders; but as far as we're concerned, it is like the Great Waterfalls, a place for the annual salmon feed.

Uncle Jack was captured by the Machine Builders a few years ago, and was branded on his back with the symbols C265. This was very embarrassing for Uncle Jack, and he was never quite the same afterwards, tending to keep to himself as much as possible. I went up to the Bonneville Dam with Uncle Jack a few times. The salmon were fat and plentiful, and we ate our fill. But it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. The Machine Builders kept throwing things at us that made loud noises, and they shot things at us that hurt if we got hit. It's almost as if the Machine Builders don't want to share the salmon with us like the First People did.

The last time I saw Uncle Jack, he was caught in some kind of trap and couldn't get out. We all tried to get it open, but it was no use. Then the Machine Builders came and took Uncle Jack away - we haven't seen him since, and we think he's dead.

I don't understand why the Machine Builders are so selfish; after all, they catch and eat thousands more salmon than we do every year. Some of my other friends and relatives have disappeared after being caught in those traps, and it scares me. We're just doing what we've done for millennia - it's the Machine Builders who have changed so many things in our world.

I only wish the Machine Builders understood us better, and I wish they had taken time to get to know Uncle Jack - but the truth is, I don't think they really know Jack.

[bloggers note: Jack C. Lyon was killed by federal officials in March after being trapped below the Bonneville Dam. His skeleton was saved for research; the rest of him was shipped to a rendering plant in Tacoma, Washington.]

A GIFT TO CONSUMERS FROM BANK OF AMERICA

Ah, good old Bank of America, one of the largest financial institutions on the world. They're also a bunch of crooks!

It took me quite a long time to find a number for the amount of taxpayer money has been handed to Bank of America. I finally found a January, 2009 article on CNN.com that listed the amount of bailout money given to Bank of America as $45,000,000,000 (45 billion).

In the mail today, we received a notice from Bank of America that they are raising the fees for a number of credit card transactions: ATM cash advances, balance transfers, bank cash advances, cash equivalents, check cash advances, direct deposit cash advances, wire transfer purchases.

The new transaction fee for the above will be 4% of each transaction, with a minimum of $10. So if you go to the ATM machine or walk into a BofA bank to get $100 cash with your BofA credit card, they will charge you 4% (4 dollars) - but wait, it will actually be 10% because the minimum fee is $10.

They are also expanding the definition of "foreign transactions" to include transactions in U.S. dollars made outside of the United States (this includes online purchases from foreign merchants). Bank of America will now get 3% on any of these transactions.

Doesn't it make you proud that $45 billion of our tax dollars went to Bank of America, and they thank us by raising the fees on our credit card transactions?

These folks are slime - sorry, but it's true. I recently caught them red-handed trying to cheat us out of $40. A $40 "late payment" fee showed up on a recent credit card statement from BofA. I called them to ask about this. We pay bills electronically, and the electronic payment was made about 3 days prior to the payment due date. But what I was told was that the payment wasn't posted by BofA until several days after the payment due date, therefore it was a late payment. It is up to me, I was told, to get the payment to Bank of America early enough to be posted. I didn't agree - if the payment was made electronically (i.e. instantaneously) then the day it was paid is the day it was paid. They did me a favor and credited the amount of the late fee!

I'd like to know why the government is giving these folks billions of dollars, and they turn around and raise their fees, and try to cheat people a few dollars at a time. Let's have some real regulation here.

(A day later: oh yes, I forgot. Another full-page add today in the NY Times by Bank of America telling us all how wonderful they are. My sources say that an ad like this is easily $100,000. No wonder they want more from me in the way of fees.)

THIS ONE'S FOR THE BIRDS

The just released report, State of the Birds is a beautiful report that catalogues the alarming decline of bird species in the United States. There are a few exceptions, on a habitat basis, such as waterfowl and other species associated with wetlands, for which conservation efforts seem to be helping.

Here at our very urban home we put out a seed mix and suet cake for our fine feathered friends, and a few furry ones as well. If you know me at all, you have guessed that I keep a list, and here it is:

Oregon junco*
Scrub jay*
Black-capped chickadee*
Ruby-crowned kinglet
Bushtit*
Western tanager
Pine siskin
Audubons warbler
House finch
House sparrow*
American goldfinch
Anna's hummingbird
American robin
American crow
Northern flicker
Downy woodpecker
European starling*
Sharp-shinned hawk
(overhead: Red-tailed hawk, Great blue heron)

* these are the most frequently seen, and are here throughout the year. Some are occasional seasonal visitors. The Sharp-shinned hawk was heard before it was seen - a bone-crunching sound - it was sitting on the back fence eating a small bird (a starling, we hope).

This isn't a huge list of species by any means, but it's many more than we thought we'd see here after moving from a more forested neighborhood a few years ago.

And oh yes, the furry visitors: some big red squirrels eat a major share of the seed. There was also a young opossum walking along the top of the back fence one evening. And our neighbors fought a battle with raccoons who came into their yard at night and rolled up the newly placed grass sod to get at the worms and bugs underneath.

I've sometimes wondered if feeding the birds is a good thing or not; maybe we shouldn't make the birds dependent on us for their food, you now, let nature be nature. But, on the other hand, this neighborhood used to be forest, and humans are part of nature, so feeding them is a good thing. It's hard to imagine a world without birds.

THE CONTINUING MISADVENTURES OF LORD DARTH CHENEY

I miss old Lord Darth Cheney - the guy I loved to hate while he was Veep. But wait, there's more: Darth is still at it, dissing Obama on T.V., issuing dire warnings - in that deep, scary, gravelly Darth voice - that the bad guys are going to get us because Obama ad the Dems are soft on terrorism; defending his OK of torture because of all the terrible attacks that were averted (we're all waiting for some proof of that).

And now, according to journalist Seymore Hersh in the NY Times, Lord Darth Cheney has a network of spies and informants in the Obama administration feeding him inside information about the workings of the new Administration.

If President Obama can force the CEO of GM to step down, can't he declare Lord Darth Cheney a threat to national security or something, and send him out to pasture for good?

At least Dubya has the decency not to bad-mouth the current President.

WAR, INC.

I learned from a recent interview of actor John Cusack, in The Progressive magazine, that he had made a movie about the outsourcing of war by the USA to private firms. The film, War, Inc., was out in the middle of last year, but I never heard or saw anything about it at the time. It's a good story, very political, with a great cast (including his sister, Joan Cusack - a personal favorite - and Marisa Tomei -another favorite since My Cousin Vinnie days). We just got it this week from Netflix, and I highly recommend it for those of you who like John and Joan, who like action thrillers, who like political films, and who like to rant about the relationship between government and corporations. And, if you substitute in your head Lord Darth Cheney for the actor Ben Kingsley, it's an even better rant.

Enjoy.