MEMORANDUM TO THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES: YOU'RE FIRED!

Your job description as members of the Congress of the United States is "to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States...." (Constitution of the United States Article I, Section 8).  You have not met the basic requirements of your job; therefore, as your employers, we the people of the United States terminate your employment.

You have one hour to clean out your desks before you are escorted off the premises by Capitol Security. We suggest that you try to find meaningful and gainful employment elsewhere. And by the way, you will need to shop for your own health insurance and retirement plan, we will not be funding those for you anymore.