Friday, May 25, 2012


It's a good thing special interest groups are watch-dogging the government to prevent new taxes. A good example is right here in Oregon, where it looks like the Oregon Association of Realtors (OAR) will have a measure on the November ballot to prohibit any new taxes on real estate sales. To my knowledge, there are no proposals to impose new taxes on real estate sales; this is a preventive measure that would amend the Oregon Constitution to require a public vote on any proposed real estate transaction tax. The OAR lobbyist, Shaun Jillions (seriously, I'm not making this up), explains that the basis for this action is the 2010 approvals of ballot measures that increased the taxes on corporations and wealthier Oregonians. This made the realtors so nervous that the OAR wanted to get an oar in the water now (sorry - couldn't help myself) to prevent the state from generating revenues from real estate transactions. Oh, did I mention that the OAR has gotten money from the National Association of Realtors and assessments on individual realtors in Oregon ($1,000,000 spent so far) for this anti-tax measure?

So, in summary, the realtors are spending millions and Jillions to keep their OAR house in order.

We citizens are lucky to have this kind of help; I mean, who wants more taxes. I'm thinking there are a lot of other special interests out there who will be weighing in soon, for example:

- no new taxes on hair cuts, sponsored by the ABC (the Association of Barbers and Cutters), and their lobbyist "Curly" Q. Ball. This measure is likely to be opposed by the Brotherhood of Alpine-Like Domes (BALD); their lobbyist, Harry Less, claims that his constituents would favor a tax on hair cuts: "It's no hair off our skin!"

- no new taxes on toilet flushing (includes public urinals), sponsored by Citizens Representing all Personal Processes of Elimination and Removal (CRAPPER). The CRAPPER lobbying team of Ima Terde, I. P. Daley and John Flushing has been working for months, and has assured this blogger that their measure is "ready to drop."

- and finally, the word on the street is that CO2 (Community for Open Oxygen) is preparing a no-new-taxes-on-breathing amendment to the Oregon Constitution that would prevent any municipal or state levy on breathing. The husband and wife lobbying team N. Hale and X. Hale, who represent breathers throughout the state, are emphatic that government has no right to tax the air we breathe. "We've heard from reliable sources that regulators are working on a plan to monitor air consumption by citizens, based on the number of breaths per day" was the word breathed to me by the Hales.

No New Taxes!! That is the rallying cry being heard from border to border to border to border (there are four, after all) in Oregon. Thanks to all the organizations and lobbyists out there who are protecting us from our government.

1 comment:

  1. You had way too much fun with that one. Should be a tax on your fun.