FED CHIEF PLANS STIMULUS PACKAGE

" President Bush and Federal Reserve Chief Ben Bernanke have both endorsed the idea of a stimulus package...."

In an announcement today, Chairman Bernanke announced an aggressive plan to implement a widespread stimulus throughout America. "We have been working closely with Pfizer and Merck on this stimulus package" said the Fed Chief. "As a result, we should very soon have billions of stimulants ready to distribute to Americans, particularly the working poor and unemployed."

The stimulation package, first conceived in the office of the Vice-President, Lord Darth Cheney, is a brilliant plan that will keep ordinary Americans so doped-up that the economic woes of the country will not be a concern to them. In the meantime, the wealthiest Americans will continue to reap the benefits of giant tax breaks and unprecedented profits.

Praise the Fed, and pass the Stimulants!